2010 was a bitch

if you ask me. It really was, most of the time. And I did not mean that in a cute sort of nostalgic way. I am mad pissed at 2010 and I couldn't wait to start and see what a new year would be like. I should be grateful for a lot of things and I seriously and wholeheartedly am but this year had been heartbreaking and oppressive it felt like in every good thing that happened, there was a bad thing that came along with it double in size. I can't be compelled to delve into the nitty-gritty of it all because it would just demean the URL address of this blog. So my dear imaginary readers, I will spare you the details of my awful year.

For one thing, I decided to stop spreading this thing around which means you must be terribly bored if you are reading this. I do not judge you because I am also that way and being judgmental is stepping back 100 years which is idiotic.

I'm thinking, does this blog still serve a purpose other than being a dump for my shamelessness? I don't think so. But I also do not want to think that nobody ever reads this shit. Although, a part of me wants to think that so I won't ever have any qualms typing down like a mad woman and never ever censoring anything. But the truth is, there will always be one or two who'd stumble upon My Not-So-Private Life and they (you) may be the wrong people. I love you even if I don't know who you are but that's beside the point. The internet is still a scary place like.. the world.

I believe in many things like:
Nobody should take it against anyone if their blog has a picture of themselves shirtless.
Kindness will go a long way but getting your ass kicked is really terrible.
Being nice all of the time doesn't make you a good person.
Doing the right things will eventually pay off.
Everyone I know is living behind a facade including me. It's something to fight.
Personal demons can be scared off.
Right timing is everything and is so freaking hard.
Social anxiety is the worst kind of anxiety in the whole freaking universe.
et cetera et cetera

I'm not the most positive person like the way I use this internet moniker in half of my online accounts. In real life, I am a skeptic. At best, I am just plain lazy which can be misunderstood sometimes as being "chill". But no it's not "chill" it's being apathetic and that's never ever a positive trait. What's positive though is that I recognize that weakness and I'm trying to find ways to work around it. Work is positive. I'm kind of glad knowing I'm not spiraling downward. Not too much.

If there's a moral in this story, it's always find time to know yourself. Like what they say, every day is one day less. I figured everything I do better be worth it.