There is nowhere else but here.

After almost a year, I'm back. I won't say for good (or for bad. . haha) but I came back because there really is nowhere else but here. For real time events, we all have Twitter and Facebook but I don't know. I am still itching to write sometimes. Tumblr isn't even an option. That site is more like a dump of everything you see and hear and photos and scraps of whatever stuff mostly forgettable anyway. It's too much to handle.

This blog is like an old provincial hometown I left for greener pastures (the latest innovative social networking sites) and somewhere to return to when life is just too much in the big city. I'm back.

A lot has happened the past year. I don't even know where to start. The great thing about writing in here is that I don't feel like there are rules to follow. I don't have to start chronologically right? Just the events that seem pretty major like:

♥ saw my sister and her family back home from Switzerland early this year

♥ finished my last three major subjects with good grades

♥ worked in a restaurant kitchen for 2 1/2 months without pay

♥ went to Manila - saw Dashboard Confessional play and talked to Chris Carrabba for like a few seconds lol and have him sign a cd and my shirt

♥ tasted Dairy Queen for the first time

♥ saw a man I love get married

♥ found someone else to love and he turns out to be married(ish. . seriously taken)

stuff like that. .

Sorry about the last two in the list, I am quite OA when it comes to matters of the heart and I guess having a food blog and keeping myself busy with other things like career (which I don't have as of the moment) and family and music and art and whatever doesn't really change that fact, it just helps in alleviating and/or aggravating the problem. . whatever works. LOL

My last post in here's like September 2009. Fast forward to today.

I had this petty fight with my ma this afternoon because she rearranged furniture in my bedroom and I didn't want her to. But she was right and I was wrong. The bedroom looked better. I just couldn't admit it to her though or she would be high and mighty yak about how right she was. I love her. She cares about the things I care about. My brother told me to throw away my books because he thinks it is the devil. He said it made me jaded and artsy and fucks up my priorities and he said the reason why I don't have a love life and a job is because I am too alternative and passive and hedonistic and selfish. In his words, I don't take life seriously.

He may have a point. But headstrong as I am, I do not take it. Really, this is all I got. These are the only things I know are mine. If he took away the very few things I'm good at, I am better dead.

I just fell silent today. What am I in this house but a bum? He's right in that area.

But you know, I try. I am looking for a job. I am waiting for calls.

And I don't want to work a job that I don't like (call center agent?).

I would rather get minimum wage cooking or busing dishes.

I could not throw away my books. I could not stop listening

to the type of music I love.

I know a lot of people who threw their dreams away for money. I know a lot of people who chose to turn their backs from the things and people they love for something the world told them would be better.

They are miserable.

Call me immature. I am just not that type of person. I tried to be. I felt dead, you know. Really, I would rather die.

Happiness can't be bought.

I just want to be happy.

We all do.