I'm sad I'm not a geek.

As much as I would die to be in a classroom with an intellectual teaching the class, that is not going to happen. Not in a million years and not in the school I'm in. As much as I would die to be in a classroom where the teacher would throw reading assignments enough to make the class' nose bleed, these are things that are made out of movies, daydreams and English majors. So if you belong to a school or a class like that, you better make the most of it and learn to appreciate intellectual insults scrawled on your reaction paper. Thank the heavens that it was even read. I have been in and out of college for almost ten years now and there is barely a single change in course outlines. I understand that these things must be tried and tested to work but it just doesn't seem enough! When will they start pumping out brilliance from people? Or is that even part of the plan? Or is school:diploma the be-all and end-all for us students?

I know I sound like a geek. I'm not. I'm sad that I'm not a geek. I even doubt half the school's population would agree with all I'm whining about but I'm just sad that my handbook doesn't include a single poem from Cummings (nor coming) or Yeats (though we were taught about yeast). I'm sad that the arts and sciences subjects are the least favorite of the students and people cuss out Filipino and History teachers. I'm sad that the teachers are too tired and indifferent to make the kids like them. I don't blame anyone. I'm just sad.

I know people are born intellectuals but they can be made too and even genius babies couldn't grow up genius without the resources, without being taught. I'm sorry if I sound OA. I'm just upset because today, a teacher skipped an important chapter in our textbook probably assuming we learned all that in high school. She should have known 90% of us were powdering our noses when we were 15. I wasn't. But them.

Sigh?

I'm upset because my seatmate got into college without knowing what a postman was.


What is a rhetorical question?
Who the fuck cares anymore?

My first attempt at recording.

It's weird to hear your own singing voice for the first time but it's growing on me.



Tools:
Logitech Mic
My broken 10-year-old guitar
Windows Audio Recorder
Windows Movie Maker

Special thanks to Flickr for the photos.

OBAMA

Change is in the (white) house y'all!
This is the only election I've seen that the whole world is interested in. Even people outside of America campaigned for the newly elect president! Thanks to Bush for his major contributions to the world crisis which is, I think, one of the main reasons why Obama won the election. Which is a good thing, of course.

I am an artist and a writer which makes me somewhat romantic but that does not mean I can't be a realist. And I saw how practical and straightforward Obama's plans are. He wants to work on the problems of the most basic part of society like health and education as well as the bigger picture like foreign policy and diplomacy. I love it! He's a pacifist! He knows what he's doing!

Being citizens of a third world country like me, our lives are affected by the U.S. dollar. American economy goes down, we suffer too. So let me bask in this glory, for his first day in the white house along with wife and children and the promised puppy. He said before that 'change does not come from the Washington but will come to Washington'. He won the election because the people made donations, worked tirelessly making calls, knocking on doors, etc. A victory only possible in t.v. and movies now imitating life. If this could happen to them, maybe it can happen for us Pinoys too.

God did bless America... and the world!

Click this to read/watch President Barack Obama's victory speech.
Click this to read his plans.
Click this to read his hq blog.

Halloween

I am going to attend a Halloween themed rock show on Friday, October 31st. A few final touches and my costume is ready to be donned. I am not a big fan of Halloween but a lot of friends and bands whom I haven't seen in awhile are going to be there, so I am very much enthusiastic about everything. I am going as this creature:

























This big murky gray guy is a TOTORO. (Click name to know more)
Even if I had not seen the entire film, I fell in love with totoro. He is just too adorable that is why I chose to be him at the party. I wanted to be kung fu panda but I didn't have the resources and time to make a panda costume. I don't like the idea of me going as a scary character. Just the thought gives me goosebumps and I have a terrible thing about scary stuff. Encounters with such things give me dreadful nightmares. I don't mean for it to happen but it just happens! That is also why I never watch horror films. Though I enjoy hearing the plot summaries from my friends who were able to watch it.

When I was much a kid, all we did on Hallow's eve was go to sleep early so we'd rise up the next morning ready to go visit our dead relatives at the local cemetery. Trick or treating is not a big thing here in the Philippines. On Halloween, I think that old t.v. show, Magandang Gabi, Bayan, is a lot more of a ritual for everyone than costume parties. This weekly show that used to air every Saturday would present a Halloween special every year where they feature ghost stories and horrifying urban legends that could make any person's blood curdle. They interview unfortunate people that had allegedly gone through all those creepy experiences, tour inside haunted houses with the cameramen and fortunately capture two or more sightings of something not our kind. We all then go to bed tightly tucking ourselves in, three kids in a single sized bed. A few moments later, we would then decide to crash our parents' bedroom to finally get some sleep.

I know some people who are big fans of scaring themselves to death or testing how much they can stand scary stuff. I am just not one of them. As much as I would like to feed my curiosity for anything horror, I would never trade my peaceful and rejuvenating slumber for sweaty panic attacks every few times a night.

I think costume parties are a bigger hit now than before. In time, trick or treating could become a popular practice in our land. Last week, in my little sister's school, they made the younger children dress up and trick or treat in the older kids' classrooms. As for me, this will be my second time ever to go attend a party in character. The first one was a few years ago, as a Japanese girl in geisha semi-makeup, Japanese slippers and Kimono robe. I remember being drunk as hell from jello shots that time.

This year, I expect to be a drunk-as-hell Totoro.

Kampai!

Writer.

Last Friday, right after I turned in my exam paper, my teacher (who is also our H.R.M. and Tourism department's Chairman) asked me if I'm graduating this year. I said no and that I expect to graduate next year, at least if everything stays smooth-sailing. I asked him why and he told me that he had been planning to come up with a magazine for our department and he'll be getting me as a writer.

I said yes.

I've had some people ask me to write but it's definitely my first time to be asked by a teacher or an authority to write for something as important as a school publication. Voluntarily contributing is one thing but being tasked is a whole new level. I felt glorious. I also thought to myself 'yes, finally.' I wanted to do a Tom Cruise at that moment but there was no couch. Truth is, I've been feeling quite low the past few weeks and this was, as far as I can remember, the best pick-me-up I've ever had.

I've been writing since I knew how. Although I admit that right now, I love reading more than writing. One reason could be because I feel inadequate and that I need to learn more. Plus, I am my worst critic. Thank God for computers, can you imagine how much paper I'd be wasting for revisions? But I figured, I wouldn't be able to enhance and improve myself unless I practice (ergo, this blog among other things). More practice will ensue for me if that magazine will realize materially. I can't wait.

I will totally spill all the details for sure. Celebrate with me when it happens?

Eleni

This is Eleni Mancao Demirci. She was born on August 21, 2008 at 6:15 am in the great land of chocolate, Switzerland.

The daughter of my sister Fritzie Marie and her husband Dimitro, she is my niece and it's a shame how it took me almost a month to post a baby shoutout!

Of Filipino/Greek/Turkish blood, she's going to be a total babe later in life which is something I can relate to. LOL

Yes.

The single life.

Not to confuse it with the Paris Hilton-Nicole Richie show. I know I am not totally qualified to post the wisdom of an old maid. At least not yet. But what if I've already made up my mind about the path I am going to take in life? I may not be a spinster (not yet) but that is not too far in sight. I am 25, single (as in not dating single) and had lost faith in such things a long time ago. Once, I was talking to a friend and she said the problem with me is that I have such high standards. But I refuse to believe that. I have come across people that I really liked to be with but then there is always something major that gets in the way. And if ever my standards are high, I didn't mean it.

More than once, in times when life was just so lonely, I used to wish I'm a little bit dumber. Dumb enough to not care about standards. Dumb enough to hook up. Hooking up is really easy you know. You just make yourself available and cheap. If not cheap, then free. You go out at night, make yourself up, a cocktail in one hand (it's sexier than beer), slow dance all by yourself in the middle of the club, eyes half closed scanning across the room and you will never be lonely. If it worked for me then it should for any girl. But then it was terrifying and that's how I can tell I'm going the wrong direction.

I was in a club with a friend one night and she said that if ever that Big Brother show comes up with a DESPERATE Edition, we'd totally be in it. Then we drank to that.

I'm not going to be a hypocrite. As much as I am not fond of 'just-because' relationships, I get really lonely and dark. That is why I go out. But I don't put out either so the nightlife is not as wild as people would like to think. It's more of like how people go out and drink to get their mind off work. I go out to get my mind off loneliness.

I told my mother that I don't want marriage. I also don't want to bring children to this world. Don't get me wrong, I am totally fond of children. Not contradicting my screen name but right now, I really think that one positive thing I can do is to be realistic. It is also a selfless act, to not let myself enjoy and be absorbed by fantastical feelings of rearing someone as an extension of who you are or who you would've wanted to be. No matter how you deny that fact, you know there's a bit of truth in it one way or another. There will come a point in your mother/father-child relationship where your kids will decide to be themselves and then you tell them they're wrong because that's not what you had in mind. I will never wish that on a child. Also, some people are just not cut out to become parents.

My mother (who is not a fan of domesticated animals in her home) told me to never say never. I say whatever I say is not a promise, it's only what I momentarily believe in. Who knows I might meet someone who's strong enough to prove me wrong. Otherwise, I see myself in ten years living with a bunch of adorable cats.